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20 Conversations, 1 Day Only
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DAY 1:
Topic : You are not alone
Karen Casey
Our Conversation Highlights
I am only sharing the first 5 minutes! Watch for the rest!
- 45 years in AA
- Went to Alanon because she was desperate to change the people around her.
- A sense of hope and wellbeing that “I have never known before”
- Traumatic childhood, tiptoe…
- Discovered alcohol at 13
- Primary illness codependency. Always looking to others for the assurance that I was OK
- What she never told publicly before
- “Every Day A New Beginning”
- Detachment, not withdrawing
- Control
- Being authentic
- And the Harley!
Tashni Nayager
Our Conversation Highlights
- I just can’t live like this one more day
- I decided to get help, AGAIN. For the 100th time.
- I did not know how to live. It looked so easy for everyone else. They seemed to know who they were, their purpose in life
- It was hard work keeping up the ‘perfect life’ image
- Thinking about suicide was my daily companion
- Maybe “you will snap out of it.”
- I just did not like myself. I was waiting to be found out. “Something is wrong with me.”
- “You have so much going for you, what more do you want?”
- You feel and ignore and you feel and ignore and then you cannot anymore
- You have to re-learn who you really are
- Finding the right help and tools I needed transformed my life. I am now creating the life I truly deserve.
Janine Naus
Our Conversation Highlights
- A scared, hurt little girl never told her secrets
- Throughout humiliation, abuse, neglect, hurt and rejection, she never told
- She still wanted attention, she still wanted to be part of something
- Abusive, neglectful relationship with mother
- She made it; she took back her power, she stood up for herself and others
- How to move from how we are affected to expanding
- Workaholic
- Help women stuck in grief
Elicia Millar
Our Conversation Highlights
- Rageholic dad, emotionally suppressed mom
- Shamed for being emotional. Shut down
- Being perfect and hiding the rest
- Bulimia, binging, purge, shame and disgust
- Having control over achieving
- Addicted to everything
- Our patterns are not what they seem
- Anger releasing
- Learning how to connect to our emotional needs, to our inner child
- Destructive relationship patterns
- Surrounded by healers but searching
- Finding herself and finding love
Kim Quick
Our Conversation Highlights
- Relationship & Dating Coach
- Found loving relationship at 40
- Dad preferred sister
- Mom’s lesson: “Be independent, don’t depend on a man.”
- Her parents as role models
- Not important, abandoned
- Cared for brothers and sisters
- “I am the common denominator”
- Have the wrong standards
- How does he treat me: supportive, available, integrity, honesty, commitment ready
- All cards on table – like me or not
- Communication skills are crucial
DAY 2
Topic : Your story does not define you
Som Bathla
Our Conversation Highlights
- From corporate to 20+ bestselling author
- Neuroscience, psychology as tool to reprogram our brains
- More productive, smarter and build a happier brain
- Healing inner child improves all areas of our life
- Values determination for finding our real selves
- Awareness; mindfulness
- delayed gratification as a measure of emotional maturity
- Asking the right questions
Tammy Banks
Our Conversation Highlights
- Baking a lemon meringue would have made all the difference!
- Losing the unconditional love that kept you going
- Emotional, physical and sexual abuse
- Rejection and abandonment
- Her developing identity interrupted
- The welfare system that failed her.
- Surviving on your own at 15
- Getting closure with a parent by asking the right questions
- Passionate about fixing the system for others
Angela Legh
Our Conversation Highlights
- Fairy tales for kids which make hard subjects accessible and teach them life skills.
- Married to angry narcissist.
- Looked and acted the perfect wife and partner
- Blame and blindspots
- Our own participation
- Reframing our feelings
- Consequences of suppressing feelings
Paul M
Our Conversation Highlights
- My father was an overbearing, insecure, angry person who used his children as a reflection of his own success or failure
- Never a discussion on how we felt, never measured on who we were, never differentiated from one another
- We had to be perfect and shiny and happy all the time
- I new which boxes to tick to survive
- No idea what boundaries were and did not know myself or what I liked or disliked.
- On autopilot till 57
- Hypervigilance
- “What will people think?”
- Super compliant. Slave to his methods until 57. I knew no other way.
- You cannot do this recovery work alone. How do you know what you do not know!?
- Groups are safe, accepting place to practice life. It take pressure off you to come up with all the answers.
Norma Hollis
Our Conversation Highlights
- My spiritual connection was squished
- My opinion was ridiculed, squished and invalidated
- I was a happy little girl until a burst eardrum and 2 years of excruciating pain changed me.
- My connection to my mother was very strong and I wanted to please her.
- I lost me
- At 28 I found out that I turned into my mother’s expectation of who a young black woman in America should be: Go to Historical Black College to find a wealthy man.
- I did. Then I divorced him.
- I had to find out what I really wanted; who I am.
- What a healthy family looked like
- I had to get that little girl back.
- Authenticity is the answer
DAY 3: Wednesday, June 23rd
Topic : Real tools and taking the positive
Sandy Geyer
Our Conversation Highlights
- The positives of hard upbringing
- What makes certain people successfull?
- Resillience and ability to pivot
- This is my responsibility and I will look after you
- Control of your own circumstances
- Absent parents, abusive parents, alcoholic parents
- I am alone and no one is looking after me and those in my care
- Thrive through this pattern
- Where do you refill?
- Trauma happens but what happens inside us, is critical.
- Trauma can be a small event
- Infants just want connect
Richard Morden
Our Conversation Highlights
- Supporting others through hypnosis, EFT, NLP
- You learn early on not to acknowledge your emotions
- The physical work was always there
- Woke up at age 9 and mom was gone
- You absorb energy over time
- Low-grade life-long PTSD
- There is what you show to the world, but the inside story is another story
- The saving example of normalcy
- “My voice was taken from me very young”
- Been married to alcoholic wife
- Don’t focus on the problem
- We repeat our problems
- Write the desription of the relationship you want
- Awareness of what children carry
Lisa King
Our Conversation Highlights
- Dad looked charismatic & sociable – very violent womanizer with multiple affairs. Generational trauma
- Saw, felt and heard every horrible thing he did to my mom & became fierce protector of my mother and brother
- My mom was sweetest, kindest people pleaser.
- Double life, good in sport, academics, lots of friends. No one knew!
- 5 year-old created all these masks. I was the funny one, and did the outrageous things
- Rebel who lived a life of performing but escaping into overworking, drinking, drugs and casual sex.
- Reconnected with inner self after partner’s suicide.
- Self-compassion
Judith Quin
Our Conversation Highlights
- Being super-responsible & becoming a little adult
- Taking responsibility for mother’s feelings
- The effects of an angry father
- I vowed not to let any man come near me
- Rock chick saved by Heavy Metal
- Don’t carry the cloth of the martyr
- From “I hate my dad” to “I asked for what I needed”
- Who is running your show?
Lynn Erasmus
Our Conversation Highlights
- Post-Natal Depression
- Functioning alcoholic
- Felt abandoned, not worthy
- Mother committed suicide
- Shut out people to prevent rejection
- “See through people”
- First drink at 10 years old. Immediately loved it
- Being important
- “I am not a nice person”
- Narcissistic, manipulation
- Getting to know yourself
- Self-Acceptance
- Coping skills
DAY 4: Thursday, June 24th
Topic : New outlooks will change your life
Bruce Anderson
Our Conversation Highlights
- Hypnosis for trauma and limiting beliefs resetting
- Sceptisism for formal diagnosis
- Nobody is broken
- Learning lessons from past to guide us to a better future
- “You don’t need to feel bad anymore. What do you want?”
- Deep rooted beliefs like “I am not loved, I am not lovable, I can’t receive love”
- Have a vivid positive experience
- Victim Triangle, persecutor, rescuer
- A perceptual filter can be adjusted.
- You are not trapped, you always have choices
Renee Lighton
Our Conversation Highlights
- Natural educator
- Children don’t have language to explain their feelings
- Parents often don’t have the skills either – we need to work on our own hurts
- WIN What’s Important Now
- Where am I blaming, justifying?
- What am I creating
- Words or Sword
- ABC: Attitude, Behavior, Choosing
- Labelling ourselves
- WTF Where is the Fear
- Educating our educators and parents
Stephanie Duffey
Our Conversation Highlights
- Who am I?
- Fighting for your identity
- Became aware through paying attention to what your body is saying
- No one else has the answers for you
- Free spirit, value differences, I had to conform
- Honoring myself
- Inner peace
Christopher Moss
Our Conversation Highlights
- 30+ years of living with anxiety
- I believed I caused my brother’s death
- I was a normal, happy boy before that.
- Constant analysis, fear of rejection
- My parents were so wrapped in their grief that I kept my guilt to myself
- I had to face losing my life in a robbery to decide that I could not live like that.
- Poor me, sorry for myself. I hated me.
- Enough. No more!
- My relationship was already suffering by that time
- Getting a life coach was the best thing I did
- I wrote a book about my anxiety initially just to work through it.
- Meditation
- We all make mistakes
Sherry Brier
Our Conversation Highlights
- My biggest problem was my family. I just wanted to get out!
- 5 when twin sisters were born and became a “little mom”
- Father had PTSD from World War 2, mentally unstable, paranoid, phobic. “Be quiet and don’t upset daddy” Very critical of me.
- Dad died when 13.
- Bullied. Moved a lot
- I could not take my problems to anyone. I became very self-reliant.
- “I was a wild thing”
- Runaway bride, did not want to get married
- Don’t dwell on negative
- Dance teacher noticed me, dance became way of healing and providing a space for others.
- I am still catastrophy-conscious.
- Women Rock Project
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